Carrie and Dave: A Midnight Interlude

Don't they look nice?

Don’t they look nice?

Meet Carrie and Dave.

Every time I’ve signed out of Facebook recently, these two nice people have been staring back at me, and I feel like I’ve gotten to know them really well. Here’s what I know:

Carrie and Dave went to college together, somewhere in upstate New York. They had a really big group of friends that all hung out together and incestuously dated, but Dave and Carrie never dated in college. All the friends stayed in touch, and had a grand old reunion three years after graduation when Amy and Owen got married in their college town. Carrie and Amy are best friends, former roommates, and even co-workers at a children’s media company in Philadelphia. Dave was living in Cincinnati, working as a high school science teacher, but still kept in touch with his old running buddy Owen. So, naturally, Dave and Carrie were in the wedding party, and they spent the whole weekend hanging out, and dancing, and everyone predicted they’d get married next, even though June caught the bouquet. (Everyone knows she lunged for it and knocked Carrie and all the other single ladies down on purpose because she’d been dating Phil for seven years, and Carrie hadn’t seen Dave for three and it was her turn, damn it! But of course, no one mentions that.) Pretty soon, Carrie and Dave were dating. Dave even found a teaching job in Philly so he could be closer to Carrie. They have a golden retriever named Jones, and a couple of houseplants, and life’s pretty good for them.

This picture was taken in New Hampshire back in September by Dave’s brother Kevin.  They were there for Dave’s Great-Aunt Margaret’s 80th birthday, and everyone went apple-picking. (Aunt Margaret makes a mean apple crisp, and she won’t share the recipe. No one’s even sure if it’s been written down, but that’s a problem for another day.) Look at Carrie, all happy and innocent. She has no idea what secret Dave’s hiding, but if you look closely into his eyes, you can tell he’s got something up his sleeve. Or in his coat pocket.

And no, it’s not what you’re thinking. They’ve talked about it, but Carrie doesn’t want to get married until Prince Albert of Monaco has a legitimate heir. Dave’s got a picture of a puppy, a chocolate lab. He bought her for Carrie’s birthday next week, so Jones could have a buddy. They’ll name her Soda.

*This brief interlude was brought to you by Hannah’s Insomniac Brain. Please don’t encourage the Brain to continue its foolish behavior. Hannah’s Brain’s Midnight Shenanigans are now being documented here. And also as she writes backstories for stock photos on social networking websites.*


5 thoughts on “Carrie and Dave: A Midnight Interlude

  1. That was hilarious and I love you forever. I laughed particularly hard at “incestuously dated” because Badgers don’t know anything about that.

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