Your Normal Hannah Service resumes now, right after these messages.

I always really enjoy reading the acknowledgements in books and deciphering all the inside jokes, so now, before the euphoria wears off, I would like to take the time to acknowledge the deep debts I have incurred while studying for my Masters Comprehensive exams, and express my gratitude for life in (hopefully) witty sentiments now that I can think about something other than the market revolution.

  • To Ingrid Michaelson, who helpfully released two new songs for me to jam to while reading about mercantilism for the eighteenth time.
  • To my neighborhood Panera and its employees for not noticing or judging me when I visited twice in two days and ordered the same thing.
  • To Mead, for manufacturing notecards of various sizes and lined-ness.
  • To my university library, who let me check out books for a year so they could take up space and gather dust in my apartment as I worked my way through my reading list. The real victory march is when these books are returned to your shelves.
  • To my shower, for only giving me cold water the morning of my first exam. That is a rude awakening I shall not soon forget (or repeat.)
  • To my reading lists, for only being 110 books. Even if I did study the trajectory of the Progressives for nothing, it was nice spending time with you.
  • To the cast of Brooklyn Nine-Nine—for general hilarity. I’m available for Boyle Bingo anytime now.
  • To the Olympic Opening Ceremonies, for giving me a fun distraction that reminded me how glad I was not to be a Europeanist because Russian history is confusing.
  • To Sporcle, for allowing me to procrastinate while naming all 54 countries in Africa, as well as quizzing me on aspects of US History, and to Buzzfeed quizzes to letting me know what Stefon nightclub I am (Twice, for the record).
  • To Alex Trebek and Jeopardy! For letting me remember all the random things I do know every night at 6pm. And also reminding me how much I suck at Geography.
  • To Jane Austen—you know what you did.
  • To Emma Thompson—you also know what you did.
  • To the Academy, just because.
  • To Bob Costas—I’m sorry to hear about your eye infection, those really suck, but you look pretty darn dapper in those glasses. I wish you would banter with Mary Carillo and her loafers every day of every year.
  • To my cohort—we are made of awesome and now we are champions.
  • To my MU Moms, who gave me lots of support and study tips while generally being fabulous people.
  • To Indiana Jones James Bond—thanks for only eating the notecards I didn’t need any more and for generally being cute.
  • To every book with a great last page.
  • To God, for not smiting me every time I took his name in vain while studying, and for reminding me that there is a world outside of comps.
  • To Ophelia Fedora to listening to me whine and doubt myself every day for three straight weeks, loaning me her catchphrase, and  making the best scholastic bobsled joke I’ve ever heard, to Liz Fudge for keeping me up to date on everything going on in the real world, to Thor Erickson for bringing me knock-off Samoas, to Cricket for distracting me by writing a fairytale, and to my parents, who sent me pictures of babies and told me funny stories about said babies when I’d forgotten what joy looked like.
  • To Tostitos Salsa con Queso. My one regret is that you did not last longer.
  • To my couch—such support. I’d be nowhere without you.

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