A Royal Baby by any other name would be as cute

It’s my favorite time again–the time when my Google Alerts are carefully calculated to encompass every possible version of “royal baby great britain”, “prince george new baby” and “omigosh ROYAL BABIES”. You guys, I am so excited about Prince George’s new sister–I mean, sibling. But I really hope it’s a girl. The corgis say have spoken. People is reporting the name I have been predicting FOR MONTHS. (Seriously, I suggested it as a possibility last time around and I TOTALLY think THIS IS THE ONE. DON’T FAIL ME NOW, CAMBRIDGES!)

Anyway, I have made an exhaustive study of royal baby names (of course I have) and here are my predictions for Second Child of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, who already has a Wikipedia page, as well as my application for official nanny. Please note that if any of these names in any combination appear on an easel outside of Buckingham Palace in the next few weeks, I will absolutely take the credit.

Remember when this happened? That was awesome.

If (WHEN) It’s a Girl

  • Alice Elizabeth Diana–Okay, so this one is obviously a sentimental choice, but in my mind the most likely. Queen Victoria had a daughter and a granddaughter named Alice, Prince Philip’s mother was Alice, and let’s face it, Alice is a pretty great name.
  • Caroline Frances Mary–One of the Queen’s middle names is Mary. I think Alexandra is unlikely, given Prince George has the middle name Alexander already. Caroline is the feminine version of Charles and Kate’s mother’s name is Carole. Diana’s middle name was Frances, so using that name is a more subtle tribute.
  • Eleanor Victoria Margaret–Let’s just throw a bunch of family names together that I like.
  • Charlotte Augusta Elizabeth–I’m feeling Victorian.
  • Helena Rose Zara–So the Princess and I can have the same initials.

If It’s a Boy

  • Philip Arthur David–There’s never been a King Philip, and while there’s only one Prince Philip, the little tyke could go by Arthur.
  • John Edward Charles–There hasn’t been a Prince John since George VI’s brother died in 1919. And Prince Charles (I was within three feet of him recently, btw) deserves a little recognition.
  • Albert Christian Spencer–Unlikely, but then an amalgamation of family names. Spencer is an outlier, though.
  • David Richard Michael–Michael is Kate’s father’s name, and David was the first name of Edward VIII, as well as one of Prince Harry’s middle names.
  • Patrick Nicholas Ernest–three Royal middle names that haven’t been used recently (believe me, I checked).

I picked almost all family names, or historically royal names, but the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge could just as easily name their child Marina or Julia or Sybil or Tarzan (King of the Jungle, after all) or Eric or Rupert or Sidney or  Matthew or Guinevere. Babies are exciting, and I’m happy to see the Royal Family happy. Especially this little dude. He certainly doesn’t know how his life is about to change.

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